


Momentum

by silentexplorer18



Category: Colby Brock - Fandom, Sam and Colby, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Breast cancer, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Mentions of Cancer, Mild Language, Negative Body Image, Reader is Sam's Sister
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:13:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21927322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentexplorer18/pseuds/silentexplorer18
Summary: As Sam’s little sister, you’d do anything to help his career progress, but when your health begins to decline again, Colby steps in to help both of you in more ways than you could ever expect.
Relationships: Colby Brock & Sam Golbach, Colby Brock / Reader, Sam Golbach & Reader
Kudos: 8





	Momentum

**Author's Note:**

> This fic deals with the subjects of Cancer (specifically Breast Cancer) and negative self-image. If either of those things upset you, please don't continue reading. And if any of my information is incorrect, please let me know; I'm thankful to have not had any form of Cancer, but that means I'm working off research, not firsthand experience.

For as long as I’ve been alive, I’ve been Sam Golbach’s little sister. Up until a few years ago, that statement would never have been much of an accomplishment in and of itself, but now I guess it means something to everyone else. It’s always meant something special to me.

Although I’m only a year younger than him, he and his best friend Colby treat me like the kid sister. And, honestly, I probably would have been fine with that, focusing instead on my own friendships and the fun things in my life, but I never could. I never had any friends to focus on.

You may be wondering why that is, and, really, I don’t know if I should be spreading the news or not, but I guess there’s no harm in telling the story. You see, when I was younger, I was diagnosed with cancer. I made my family, even Sam, promise not to tell anyone. And that anyone included Colby Brock, despite him being like my brother’s twin.

I didn’t want people to see me or treat me any differently than any other person they met.

I wanted to be normal.

In my mind, I figured cancer would be a little hump to overcome, a small battle scar to embellish my repertoire of happy memories. But I was wrong. The cancer wasn’t just passing in the breeze. Every treatment that we tried helped in some ways and diminished my health in others, making it nearly impossible to live life like a normal girl.

It took a while, but eventually we’d managed to remove all of the infected cells, giving me a chance to rebuild my strength and start fresh. Or so we thought. At nineteen, I was diagnosed with another occurrence cancer, prompting the ever consuming question of whether or not I could be cured. Just when I thought I might be capable of a new, normal life, my world again tumbled beyond the grasp of my delicate fingertips.

I’d lost all momentum on progress, stalling out like a kid that had never driven stick before, and the worst thing was that I didn’t know how to tell Sam.

He’d moved to California with Colby, whom I’d never been particularly fond of, a while ago. Something about Colby’s adventurous, carefree attitude bothered me to no end, and while I wasn’t happy with the two boys racing west together, I knew that Sam was pursuing his dreams, and I needed to support them. The pair had become internet sensations as a duo, and I didn’t particularly want to ruin either of their careers due to the downgrade of my health.

Hell, who are we kidding? My health over the years was just a slippery slope constructed by some demonic entity seeking revenge.

Revenge on what I’ll never know.

Probably some stupid curse the boys got us into.

But regardless, I didn’t know how to just call him and say that I had cancer again. I knew he needed to know, but how do you let yourself pick up the phone and say something that will break your brother’s heart?

Honestly, I hadn’t planned on putting off calling him for very long, but I ended up holding my ringing phone to my ear a few nights before my first round of chemo, dreading the words that would have to spill from my bitten lips; the biting had become a nervous habit I’d developed a few years back.

“Hey, (Y/n)! What’s up?” his cheerful voice rang through the speaker. I could hear noise in the background, and I realized that it was dinner time in L.A. at the moment.

“Hey, Sam. Um sorry, are you busy?”

I heard a rustle and a laugh followed by the noises suddenly growing faint.

“No, no. Colby and I were just at dinner. We met up with some old friends, but they were getting ready to leave when you called. I just left Colby to finish his plate. What’s up?”

“I just…” my heart clenched, and I felt my voice waver a little. Taking a deep breath, I started again. “I just have something to tell you.”

His voice grew serious. “Is everything okay?”

Closing my eyes and filling my lungs, I breathed out, “I have chemo on Monday.”

The silence through the phone was like a thousand mountains of disappointment crashing down upon me, breaking every last bit of composure I had left. After a moment, his voice managed to strain out, “Chemo?”

Gulping, I explained, attempting to keep my sniffles at bay at having to tell him the one thing he never wanted to hear me say ever again. “Yeah. I, uh, got diagnosed again. Monday I go in for chemo while the doctors wait on charts to come back about how much I’m gonna have to do to get rid of it. We may be able to just pop in for surgery and pull it out, but for now, I’ll have chemo. They want me to check into the hospital the day after tomorrow.”

“Does mom know?”

There was still a lump in my throat as I answered. “Yeah, she does. Her and dad are on a vacation right now in Canada, but they said they’d be home soon. I told her not to worry about it too much.”

“Wait. You’ll be alone in the hospital?” The sheer surprise in his voice threw me.

“I mean, yeah. It’s not like I haven’t had chemo before. I am nineteen, Sam.”

“Will you be okay?”

“Sam, I can be on my own for a few weeks, it’ll be fine,” I said, eyes rolling as he treated me like a child.

“That’s not what I meant.” He seemed to stumble over his words. “The cancer. Will you be okay? Do they think they can fix it?”

The weight came back to my heart as I realized my misunderstanding. “I don’t know. They haven’t told me yet. I’ll find out in a few days.”

There was rustling on the other end of the line, and when he spoke again, he sounded strained. “Colby’s done. Listen, I’ll call you back later, okay? We can talk some more, if you want, before you go in.”

“Okay, sure, but, Sam, don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Talk to you later.”

“Talk to you later,” he parroted.

* * *

What I didn’t see that day was the sluggish way Sam walked back to his table, dazed beyond comprehension. Colby was playing on his phone, tapping his nail polish clad fingers across the screen lazily. “You good?” he asked, looking up at Sam and registering the worried look on his face. He was even paler than normal, and Colby was immediately scanning him for the cause of the issue.

“I need to go home,” he said softly, the gravity of the situation slowly sinking in.

“You what? Sam, what’s going on?” His body shifted upright, beginning to rise to grip his friend’s arm gently. He seemed so unsteady in that instant, weak and unsure about everything that had happened.

“I need to go home,” he said again, eyes finally beginning to focus on Colby.

“Okay, okay. We can get you back to the house,” he assured, attempting to turn them both with interlocked arms toward the exit.

“No,” Sam said, “Home to Kansas.” It was then that he finally snapped out of his trance, turning rapidly and almost falling as he was still attached to Colby’s arm. “I need to get home.”

“What?”

With that, Sam began rushing toward the parking lot, paying no notice to anyone around him until Colby had grabbed his arm, yanking him out of the way of a car that was trying to get through.

“Sam, what the hell is going on?” he said, voice reverberating in Sam’s ears with enough intensity to pull him from his panic.

“My sister. She’s sick. I need to go back home. I need to be with her.”

Colby froze. “(Y/n)?” He knew I’d never liked him, voice always growing snarky whenever he was around, but I was Sam’s little sister. By extension, he’d always cared about me even through the dislike. “What do you mean by sick?” he asked, eyeing Sam as he led them both to the corolla.

Once they’d gotten into the vehicle, Sam rubbed his face with his hands, bowing his head as he tried to make sense of the emotions swirling through his brain. “I’m not supposed to tell you. She’s totally secretive about this shit.”

Letting out a frustrated groan, Colby threw his hands on the wheel. “You have to leave to go back to Kansas right this minute and you won’t tell me why? Sam, what the fuck?”

“She has cancer,” he shouted out, louder than he’d intended. Actually, he hadn’t intended on saying it aloud at all, but between his best friend’s prodding and the thoughts tormenting his brain, the words were blurted from his lips before he could even register what was happening.

And in that instant Colby felt frozen again, brow furrowing as his eyes connected with Sam’s alarmed ones. “Cancer?” The word sounded foreign on his tongue, especially when the image coming to mind was me in my pajamas watching movies with them on the couch back in Kansas and helping them make plans about what bandos to explore. I’d seemed so innocent, so happy. I was perfectly fine.

“She had it before,” Sam admitted, eyes moving to the hem of his shirt where he began to play with a loose string. “When we were younger, back when we were still in Kansas. They did a bunch of procedures to get rid of it. They cleared her. She was clean. I don’t know what happened but she just called and said it’s back again.”

“Why didn’t I ever know?” he asked, thinking back to all the times he’d seen me. Usually, I’d be saying some snarky remark or bitter reply to one of his hairbrained schemes, but even then he’d never noticed me looking unwell. A little thin or pale, maybe, but on those days I’d rarely hung out with them anyway. Sam’s sigh pulled him from his memories, and he turned back toward his oldest companion.

“She didn’t want anyone to know besides our immediate family. Not even you. I remember she said that. ‘Not even Colby, Sam.’ She wanted to keep everything a secret.”

Colby nodded, offering him a small, reassuring smile. “It’s okay. We’ll figure this out and everything will be okay.”

Sam nodded, eyes resting out of the window as his friend started the car.

What he didn’t notice on the drive home was Colby’s white knuckles clenching the wheel for dear life to hide how intensely they were shaking.

* * *

Sam flew back to Kansas a few days later, unbeknownst to me, and rushed to the hospital upon landing.

Just like clockwork, I’d gotten out of chemo when he’d arrived, laying in the hospital bed with tired eyes and a bored disposition. I’d forgotten how exhausting all of this was to go through. I was on the verge of allowing myself to take a nap when a knock on the door startled me awake.

“(Y/n)?” the person asked, blonde head peeking through the door.

Sam.

“What are you doing here?” I asked as he approached, bending to gently envelop me in his arms.

“You couldn’t think I’d just let you do this alone.”

“I’m an adult,” I reasoned, shooting him a pointed look that he returned with his comment.

“Not even adults go through everything all alone.”

I sighed, eyes landing on the thin blanket covering my lap. “It’s not that bad, Sammy. They’re gonna keep me for a few weeks, do a few rounds of chemo, run some more tests, and then I think do a mastectomy.”

“Is that for…” he trailed off, mind working to figure out where he’d heard that term before.

“Breast cancer,” I breathed, still having not yet completely allowed the thought to sink in. His face fell, hand instinctively reaching for my own.

“We’ll get through this together.”

* * *

Although the sentiment was sweet, I could tell the strain of taking care of me and trying to manage working in tandem was killing him. The other important people in his life, despite being back in California, could even tell that he wasn’t handling any of this very well.

Rushing off to Kansas had been the easy part. Colby offered to shoulder the burden of creating content for their joint channel, and some of the gang made extra videos to put on Sam’s channel while he was trying to take care of matters here at home, but that didn’t stop him from trying to work. He kept calling Colby and Kat in between my procedures, figuring out which business things were slipping through his fingers by being so far removed from the action.

A few of the days he’d went out exploring some local abandoned buildings in an attempt to put up some content, but that only resulted in him staying up late in the hospital room with his laptop trying to edit and push out the video in a timely manner.

Each call to his friends, he seemed to grow more and more weary, living off caffeine and hope more often than sleep and good health. Eventually, they’d gotten so worried, Colby had made some posts online stating that he and Sam needed to take a short break from putting out content due to some personal matters that needed to be prioritized, and then he hopped on a plane to join his counterpart where he was needed most. Of course, Sam didn’t listen to his friend’s advice against creating content, which was where he found us both the next morning as he made his way into the hospital.

He knocked lightly on the door, poking his head in to see me holding my finger above my lips. As he quietly stepped in, he saw why I was so adamantly shushing him.

Sam was asleep on a bench beside the window, laptop still before him, no doubt dead by now, as soft snores floated from his lips. His stubble had grown out, bags clearly present under his eyes. The aura of stress around him was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

Nearing me, he began to whisper questions about everything that had happened over the past few weeks.

“He needs to go home, Colby,” I said, eyes glancing to Sam’s exhausted form. “He needs to sleep in a _real_ bed, take a shower, eat something besides shitty hospital food. He’s been killing himself trying to be here and also make content,” I said with a small sigh, shooting Colby a glare at the thought of YouTube driving my brother insane.

Raising his hands in defense, my anger faltered. “I told him not to. I swear. I’ve been making content. Everybody back in L.A. has been pitching in to make videos for his channel and ours. He shouldn’t have been worrying about anything. We had it taken care of.” His eyes moved back to my dozing brother, finally looking slightly at peace.

“He’s stubborn,” I murmured, following his gaze.

“Tell me about it,” he chuckled. “But I’ll fix this. Don’t worry,” he assured, stepping from my bed and moving toward his best friend.

His best friend. My brother. The one person that both of us cared about above everyone else in the world.

Maybe we _could_ get along.

Poking Sam, Colby gently got him to wake up, eyes morphing from confused to overjoyous that the brunette was in front of him.

“Hey, brother,” he whispered.

“Hey,” Colby replied with a smile, shifting the laptop from his friend’s lap and gently pulling him to his feet.

“What’s going on?”

“You’re gonna go home and go to bed,” he stated, gathering Sam’s belongings and shoving them into his hands.

And then it hit Sam. They were still in the hospital with me. He still felt obligated to take care of me. “I can’t,” he said, eyes finding your bed jerkily. “I need to stay here. I need to take care of her.”

“Sammy,” I said softly, “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be just fine. Go get some sleep in a real bed, okay? I’ll be right here when you get back.”

He eyed me skeptically. “Are you sure?” I nodded, but my suggestions were futile. “No. No, I can’t leave you. I can’t. What if something happens? I need to be here for you.” He ran a worried hand through his hair as Colby placed both of his hands on Sam’s shoulders with a reassuring squeeze.

“I’ll stay. I’ll call you if anything happens, okay?” Reluctantly, he was able to pull Sam through the door and out into the hallway where they talked for a few minutes out of earshot.

I played with the hem of the blanket until Colby had stepped back into the room with a goofy smile. “I did it. He’s going home. I even convinced him to get an Uber so he wouldn’t try to drive and end up crashing the damn car.”

Despite myself I let a smile and light chuckle escape my lips. “Good job, Brock. Who knew you were so good at charming my brother?”

He grinned, slipping into a chair at my bedside. “That’s just what happens when you live with him for a ridiculous amount of time.”

I snorted at that. “Yeah, like I haven’t. He wouldn’t listen to me _at all_ when I said he should go home.”

“Well that’s because he loves you,” he said matter of factly, “A blind man could see it.”

“Oh a blind man, huh?”

“Yeah.” There was a pause, and I watched as his fingers grazed the hem of my blanket and began to play with it absentmindedly. “So a mastectomy, huh?” he murmured, eyes moving up to meet mine in the glow of morning.

“Uh, yeah,” I breathed out, the thought really finally beginning to sink in. “I don’t… I’m not… it hasn’t quite registered in my mind yet that it’s happening. The whole thing feels kinda surreal and actually pretty scary. But don’t tell Sam I said that.”

He smiled. “I won’t. But you don’t need to be scared. Everything’s going to be okay.” His hand slid up to take hold of mine, and my other hand began to trace the rings adorning his worn fingers. He hadn’t dressed like this when he was younger, preferring tee shirts and a cross necklace to anything gucci with flamboyant rings. Yet he was still Colby, despite all the physical changes that had occurred over our time apart.

“It just feels like all the momentum in my life stopped. Everything was finally going so well and now we’re back here again.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, unable to contain his curiosity.

“What?”

“About before,” he said softly, attempting to mask the hurt I could see right through.

“I didn’t want anyone to know,” I murmured, giving his hand the smallest of squeezes. “I didn’t want everyone pitying me or trying to help. I wanted to be normal. It didn’t have anything to do with you, Colby.”

“But you never liked me,” he argued, searching my eyes for confirmation that I had always disapproved of him being my brother’s best friend.

A sigh left my lips as my eyes moved back down to the rings I was still fiddling with. “It wasn’t that I didn’t _like_ you. You were always just so full of life, so adventurous, so reckless. I hated how you were able to run around and do anything in the world your heart fancied and you did reckless stuff that could’ve gotten you hurt instead; all I wanted was to go on adventures, travel, be like you and Sam. But my life lost traction when I got diagnosed. You and Sam took L.A. by storm and everything fun in my life left.”

“I didn’t realize-”

“You two were the closest things I had to friends. I just don’t know what to do now that I’m losing more time.”

“Come with us,” he said, eyes growing bright at the thought.

“What?”

“Come back with us when you recover. We can take you to fun things in L.A., do some videos, you can meet our friends. We can do everything you want.”

I shook my head, meeting his eyes sadly. “Thank you, Colby, but I couldn’t impose like that. Besides, it’ll take me awhile to recover.”

“You’re never an imposition,” he reassured, leaning up to place his warm lips on my forehead. “We’ll be waiting. I’m gonna go get something to eat in the cafeteria; airplane food sucks.”

Giggling, I offered him a wave. “Good luck with that.”

* * *

A couple of months after the surgery, they finally did convince me to visit L.A., their home away from our beautiful sunflower state. At that point, they were still living in the Trap House, filming like crazy and loving the adventures they shared with their companions. Excitingly enough, that now included me.

They made sure to always do thinks I was comfortable with, never making me go places or film things I didn’t like. That included the pool videos, where I was too embarrassed to wear a bathing suit before the world and the nights the boys went out to film haunted videos when I stayed home in the comfort of a bed.

Colby’s bed, to be exact.

He had the futon _and_ a bed, but Sam only had a bed, so Colby had practically forced me to take his bed - at the threat of tickles, mind you - and opted to take the futon.

It was honestly really sweet.

Sam noticed it, the way Colby and I had stopped the incessant bickering and started to get along more. He didn’t mention it or question it, assuming that something had happened at the hospital that had brought us together.

He wasn’t wrong.

But tonight was one of those nights I was kind of expecting to be alone. Everyone in the house was planning on filming a video at some abandoned building, except for Kat and Dev. They’d gone out for a girls’ night, and I’d been too shy and tired to join. I’d figured everyone had left already, and being tired, I decided to dress in some comfier clothes.

Eventually my top was bare, and I found myself staring into Colby’s mirror, a disappointed look adorning my usually cheerful features.

I’d been beautiful once.

At least, more beautiful than I was now with uneven breasts and a huge scar across my chest.

As my watery eyes, already leaking a few ragged tears, skimmed across my image, mind traveling back to the girl I once was, my ears didn’t register anyone come into the room until…

“Oh, shit!” Colby jumped backward, eyes traveling downward bashfully as he’d realized he’d walked in on me half naked. “Sorry. I didn’t realize you were changing.”

I turned, eyes connecting with his before searching to find a shirt to put on, one arm instinctively traveling up to cover my chest. “It’s okay,” I breathed out, angrily noticing how ragged and weak my words sounded.

“Hey,” he said, taking a gentle step forward. “Why are you crying?” His brow was furrowed in concern, thinking back to everything that had happened in the last few days. Had someone done something to upset you?

“I’m just so _ugly_ ,” I whispered out, allowing more tears to fall as I gave up searching for a clean top. I didn’t realize he’d wrapped me in a hug until my cheek was pressed against his tank top. His heartbeat calmed my fears as he shushed me, resting his head atop my own as he rubbed my back.

“You’re _not_ ugly,” he said softly as my crying began to slow.

“Yeah I am,” I tried to reason, but he pulled away from me, turning my body to face the mirror again.

“What do you think is ugly?” he asked, meeting my gaze in the reflection. “ _I_ think you’re beautiful.”

“Look at my chest,” I stated, blushing in embarrassment and shame as his eyes trailed down to take in my uneven form.

His arms were wrapped around my waist to keep me in place, lips gently pressing below my ear. Tingles went up and down my spine as he whispered words against my flesh, breath tickling my ear. “I think it looks beautiful.” Lips continued kissing my neck, fingers tracing circles across my stomach. “I think every inch of you is beautiful.”

“You do?” I asked, turning to face him with a dubious look.

“I always have,” he stated simply. “Now you’re just giving me ample time to admire.” With a smile, he pressed a gentle kiss to my lips, moving down to give my chest butterfly kisses.

His touch was gentle, as if he was terrified that even a move slightly too rough would cause my body to shatter.

Reaching for his cheek, I pulled his face back up to meet my own, tongue silently begging for entry. He indulged my request, deepening the kiss and running his hands up and down my exposed flesh. Slowly, be began to pull us toward the bed, giving me ample time to stop him if I didn’t want things to continue. Pulling my lips from his, I breathed out my only reservation. “What if Sam walks in?”

“He’s filming, should be gone a few hours,” he breathed back, and that was all it took for me to connect our lips again and fall between his dark sheets.

That night, I became the little girlfriend, not just the little sister, and for once in my life, all the momentum I’d lost came back, and I found myself zooming into the life I’d always dreamed of having with Colby by my side.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic! I hope you enjoyed it. You can also find me over on [Tumblr](https://silentexplorer18.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
